I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds
Strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment, I am happy
I wish you were here
“If they did tests on my heart
I think that maybe they would start believing
All the stories that I tell them
Like how sometimes I can barely breathe
For no apparent reason other than I thought some bad thoughts
These nerves are falling apart
And my fingernails stay short
I keep telling myself “You’ve got to get over yourself”
I don’t want you to save me
‘Cause what if you did, you’d succeed
And then you would get bored and leave
I’d be back at square one
And that is such a bad place to begin”
-Umbrellas
My lack of updates has mostly been because of life… and all problems associated with it. I’ve been busy keeping the house clean and taking care of Mariah. I’ve been dealing with stress from all sides: my mom, not having a job, money issues, lack of some true friends, etc. I’d update more if there were exciting, happy things going on. I don’t like sounding negative. Hopefully things will get better so I can update more regularly again. I’ll try my best.
I went fishing today! It’s really addicting. I just like spending time by the water. The wind was crazy and it was hard to tell when a fish was actually biting since my pole kept moving. But I had a blast. All we caught were pufferfish. They’re really annoying.
I got home today just in time to cram study for my algebra exam. I think I did okay… At least I know I passed the class. I’m so tired now though. I said hi to one of my old professors, but I called him by the wrong name. :/ So embarrassing. I just wanna go home and sleep. Bye stupid community college. I’m so glad summer is finally here.
Today, we hiked down a mountain to see this waterfall. There were caves and huge rock faces… and we got soaking wet by the falls because the rain from the week made the rivers crazy deep and fast. It felt so amazing to walk through nature and enjoy the air. Tennessee has such clean air… I guess from the lack of big cities to pollute the environment. I was super wet and covered in mud by the time we got back to the apartment. I’m so glad we went. :)
I went to one of my best friend’s new apartment tonight. She just got it this week and it’s so amazing! We played Quelf and Mario Party and drank strawberry daquiris and margaritas. Now we’re all hanging out at Steak ‘n Shake and I’m loving this chocolate banana shake. Yummm. I’m glad I’m getting to spend time with Jamie again. I’ve missed her.
“Everyone says that love hurts, but that’s not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses these things with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes us feel wonderful again.” — Unknown
Two things I love: Photobooth on Macbooks and my cat, Romeo. This picture cracks me up. :) He’s my favorite thing to come home to every day. When he curls up on top of me while I’m on my laptop, it makes me feel so warm and happy. He’s going to be 5 in May! This is the longest I’ve ever had a pet. He’s my baby. <3
I walked to the docks today with my sister. It’s the next best thing if you can’t get to the beach. I love being by the water and just soaking up the sun. Summertime is lingering in the air and I can’t wait for it to get here!